Sunday, November 19, 2006

Premature Honkulation

Copied from my MySpace blog. Originally posted September 15, 2006.

I used to have a blog where, among other things, I did a semi-regular thing called "Firing Squad Friday" where I nominated a group of people I hate to be put in front of a firing squad. The site that hosted that free blog disapeared suddenly, so the blog is gone. But trust me, it was hilarious.

There was one group of people who were mentioned on that blog who I think should be discussed again. They are the premature honkers. If you are one of these people, I hate you.

Sitting at a red light, behind someone. Hand hovering over the horn. The light is red. Red. Red. Red. Red. Gr..HONK!!!!

FUCK OFF! I can see that it's green. It's been green for about a third of a second! GET YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF OF THE HORN! I'm going! Sorry it took me two thirds of a second to react.

If I could pick a fate for these assholes, it would be that they spend eternity sitting at an intersection behind my Uncle George, who has fallen asleep at the wheel waiting for the light to change again.

8 comments:

Christine said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 15, 2006

Whenever this is done to me I go slower. I've sat through an entire green light before just to annoy someone who was annoying me with their horn. I also drive slower when someone is trying to see if their car can fit into my trunk. Seeing them in my rear view sputtering with rage is very satisfying for me =)

Pumpkin Noggin said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 15, 2006

Because of these people I've always wanted to hook up a "kill switch" to my taillights.

As soon as they've honked at me, I pick up a bit of speed (they're usually right up my ass at this point), hit that kill switch and slam on the brakes...BLAMO..they're up to their radiators in my trunk.

Serve 'em right.

LaChandra said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 15, 2006

Amen!!!

It was subtacular said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 17, 2006

If you think Canada is bad, you would hate the United States

Hau Ab said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 18, 2006

Just as bad as those, are the premature honkers that honk at an intersection to warn you not to pull out.Its like, "No shit idiot.Like i dont see your massive fucking SUV flying down the road at 60 mph.All i want to do today is get into a massive accident."

SouthernWitch said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 20, 2006

Man! I can't believe I was about to blog about the same thing! Then I ran acrossed your blog. I'm feeling you here. I have a bad case of "justified road rage", so when they do that to me {on a daily basis, almost} I get this urge of beating in that inpatient head. I have throwed the car in park and stepped out, but that was a bad day. First the tailgater on my bumper and now the wench behind me blows her horn . I think we should gather them up for your firing squad, indeed! We should shove those horns down their throats and everytime they open that mouth...HONK!

Nichole said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted September 24, 2006

Just wanna say I AGREEE!!! Whole haeartedly!

Nathan said...

Comment copied from Lloyd's MySpace blog. Comment posted October 10, 2006

Just remember that a honking horn means danger, so stop right away! Once stopped look around and try to identify the source of the honk and the source of the danger. After you are satisfied the danger is no longer present you should proceed on your previous course.