Good parenting

Copied from my MySpace blog. Originally posted August 15, 2006

A few days ago, my wife and I were lined up to renew our health cards. There was a group of kids running around, absolutely out of control. The three kids ranged in age from about 3 to 8.

Then their mother decided to take control of the situation and shouted

"if you kids don't calm down right now, you won't get your iced cappuccino from Tim Hortons!"

At first, I thought this woman must be crazy. Calm down, or you won't get a great big cup of sugar and caffeine. I mean, according to an unreliable source that I found online, there is 87 mg of caffeine in that stuff. Should a three year old really be drinking that kind of beverage? What ever happened to apple juice? Or water?

Then I thought about it, and realized that this woman was in fact a very good mother. She was practicing preventative maintenance. She must have read Rebecca's blog entry about the recent study that shows that coffee can counteract alcohols poisonous effects on the liver and help prevent cirrhosis.

But wait? She is concerned about her three year old's liver? Well, she should be, if she is also taking the right steps to protect the poor kid's prostate. Apparently, accoring to another study quoted by Rebecca, there is an ingredient in beer that can help prevent prostate cancer. Approximately 17 beers a day will help to keep the old prostate cancer free.

So, I feel bad for thinking bad things about this mother for feeding her kids buckets full of sugar and caffeine. Obviously this is to protect their liver from all the beer she is feeding them to protect their prostates.

This lady is a shining example of loving parenting. I plan to follow her example. So while my son is napping, I'll pop out to Tim Hortons and the Beer Store for some supplies. Why are you looking at me like that? It's not like I'm leaving him alone while I go out. I'm leaving the dog to watch over him.