Monday, December 31, 2007


Last year at around this time, I awarded the first annual Lloydy awards (Lloyd's 2006 Mmost Aawesome Aawards. This year, there are new categories, and exciting winners in each category. So, let's get on with the ceremony, and present the statues.

First, in the category of "news story of the year", the winner is the big event that happened on December 13. Click here to read more.

Next, the winner of the best birthday gift of 2007 is the gift I received 13 days after my birthday. Click here to read more about my birthday gift.

The third award to be handed out is for the best Christmas present of 2007. The winner is this gift I received 12 days before Christmas. Runners up in this category are: my wife signing me up for the Second City's Improv Comedy classes (level A) and; my new GPS system from my in-laws, which I have named Molly after the little girl on Heroes who can find anybody. (after giving me a Serius Satelite Radio last year for Christmas and the GPS this year, my in-laws have more than doubled the value of my Chevrolet Aveo!); and also the donation to Bloorview Kids Rehab that my mother made in our names (this is the place where my son receives his physiotherapy and occupational therapy and attends nursery school).

Finally, in the category of Best Anniversary Present for 2007, the award if for the present my wife and I shared, which we received 18 days before our 10th anniversary (which, by the way is today). Click here to read more about this award winner.

So, there are the Lloydy Awards for 2007. As you can see, it was a clean sweep. What a great year.

Happy New Year everybody.


Lloyd, Jjodi, Eeric and Aalex

Friday, December 14, 2007

Press Release

For Immediate Release

Ravn Corporation Announces the Release of its Newest Product

Scarborough, December 13, 2007 - Internationally acclaimed company, Ravn Corporation of Toronto, announced on December 13, 2007 the release of their latest product. The company's President and Chief Executive Officer, Jodi Ravn unveiled the new product at 7:03 AM on Thursday in conjunction with partner companies Diversity Midwives and Scarborough Grace Hospital. The product launch is being hailed as one of the most efficient of its kind, involving only four hours of labour to complete the project, following just over nine months of preparations.

"It's a boy! We're calling it Alexander Liam Ravn," CEO Ravn announced with a flourish shortly after the new product was brought out of its protective packaging.

The product specifications are:

-weight: 8 lbs, 14 oz

-length: 54 cm.

Ravn Corp's Executive Vice President, Lloyd Ravn, told attending media representatives that Alexander Liam was a follow-up to the company's wildly successful Eric Larsen Ravn, relased in February of 2005. "We've had so much commercial success with the Eric Larsen model that we are very excited about the release of a brother product for that model." The two products are designed to work cooperatively, and when they were placed side-by-side at a photo op later in the day, everyone present in the boardroom commented on how perfect they look together.

The new product, along with Ravn Corp's CEO, will be remaining at Scarborough Grace Hospital, at least until end of day on Friday, until product analysts at Scarborough Grace are confident that the product is ready to be sent to Ravn Corp's headquarters. A representative of Scarborough Grace was quoted as saying, "Everything looks perfect."

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Reality Blogging

As I mentioned recently, I watch some girly television shows. I admit it, so shut up.

So, on a related note, am I the only one who answers Tyra Banks during the opening sequence to America's Next Top Model? It goes like this:

A picture of a hot model flashes across the screen

Tyra: "You wanna be on top?"

Me: "Sure, if that's how she likes it."

A picture of another hot model flashes across the screen

Tyra: "You wanna be on top?"

Me: "I dunno. I think that one would look great on top."


Immature? My wife thinks so. I prefer to think I'm just being honest.

Thursday, December 6, 2007


Did you hear about Celine Dion's canceled concert in Halifax? Apparently her husband/manager/daddy saw some negative comments about her in the local media so he canceled the show. If they canceled her shows in every town where someone said something nasty about her, she would never perform anywhere!

Hey! That's a good idea, huh?

Maybe the creepy old dude watches for blogs about his wafer-thin bride as closely as he watches media outlets for mentions of her name. If so, then maybe this is our chance to see that Halifax isn't the only city to benefit from his thin skin.

I propose that this become the official "Do Not Come" list for Celine Dion. It will be much like the US Government's "Do Not Call" list for telemarketers. Instead of putting your name on the list to keep telemarketers from pestering you over the phone, you can put your city or town on the list to keep Her Royal Translucent-ness from screeching in your local arena.

If you would like to avoid a live version of Where Does My Heart Beat Now being performed anywhere near you, leave a comment at the end of this blog stating your town or city name. I can't promise that it will work, but it will be fun anyhow. Send this link ( your friends and family and maybe we can get enough cities on the list that they just won't bother booking any more concerts and will just stick to raising their son/daughter(?)

Celine Dion and her beautiful daughter, Rene-Charles

Or maybe we'll just piss off a bunch of Celine Dion fans, and that would be fun too.

I'll start the list with Scarborough, Ontario, Canada. Seconded?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Thoughts on turning 35

First of all, thank you for all of the birthday e-mails and facebook wall posts and MySpace comments. You're Llovely, you really are.

In honour of my 35th birthday, I was going to put up a new Lloydmas carol, but never got around to it. As far as I got was the title ("The First Two Ls") and the last couple of lines (about as far as I got with last year's Lloydmas carol). It would have ended with:

Two Ls, two Ls, two Ls, two Ls,
Born is the guy whose name no-one can spell

Anyhow, now that the Lloydmas season is over, I hope you enjoy your Christmas season. By the way, did you notice that stores are putting up their Christmas decorations earlier and earlier? It used to be tradition to wait until after the end of the Lloydmas celebrations, but nobody has any respect for tradition anymore.

So, that's it for me. Happy December.