Help Me Help Children's Hospitals in Canada

This is one of my all-time favourite pictures. 

Eric was on a weekend pass from a particularly long hospital stay, after his second and third strokes, back-to-back. He and I were so relieved to be home that we were asleep on the couch in minutes. 

Those were very difficult and terrifying days, watching Eric go through severe medical emergencies at such a young age. But thanks to extremely hard work of pediatric doctors and nurses and therapists (we stopped counting when Eric had been seen by more than 100 doctors from several different specialties by age 4), Eric's health has been pretty stable for the past few years.

That's why I decided to donate a portion of each sale from downloads of my 1-hour solo show Funny, Daddy to Children's Miracle Network, helping children's hospitals across Canada, as my way of saying "thank you for saving this kid's life". 

The show itself is the story of the ups and downs of my time as a parent, and Eric's hospital stays and the wonderful care that we received during those stays, play a big role in the story. I do find an opportunity to roast the medical community a little, too (in a loving way, of course).

I appreciate the support I've had on this so far, and I would love it if a great big pile of my friends and family jumped on board today with a $5 purchase. I know literally hundreds of you have sent me messages saying "I wish I could see that show" when it was touring around the Maritimes. Well, now's your chance.
It's easy. You can pay with a credit card or PayPal athttp://bayoffunny.com/index.php/funny-daddy-dvd

Or, you can send an interac e-mail transfer to NoLloydering@gmail.com.

You'll receive a download link in your email shortly after paying.

Thanks!

Llove,

Lloyd

Welcome to Holland, Bloorview

OK, today my blog is going to be uncharacteristically serious rather than the usual foolish (I originally typed "funny" and then realized that was a massive overstatement) blog post, because there was some news I thought was worth sharing. And that news reminded me of an essay I wanted to share for those of you who haven't seen it.  

Today was a big day at one of my favourite places in the world. If you know me at all, you probably know of my love for Bloorview Kids Rehab, Canada's largest pediatric rehabilitation centre for kids with disabilities. For those of you who have escaped my professions of love for Bloorview, either on Facebook, in person or at one of the "Laughs for Possibility" live comedy fundraisers I have organized and performed on, I'll give you a brief-ish outline of why I feel so strongly about the place.

My oldest son, Eric (5) started going to Bloorview for Occupational therapy through their Community Development Program (CDP) and to see a developmental pediatrician when he was 2, due to global developmental delay. He later began seeing a physiotherapist at Bloorview, went to the dentist there and attended the Bloorview Nursery School in Scarborough.

When Eric was 3, while on vacation in Prince Edward Island with his mother and brand new brother, Alex, he experienced a major stroke. After a month in hospital in the Maritimes, he was sent home to Toronto and was admitted as an inpatient to Bloorview's Brain Injury Rehab Team (BIRT) unit. After one month as an inpatient, he was followed by the BIRT Day Program in which he attended therapy at the hospital daily, from September to December of 2008.

After his recovery had progressed well enough that he could be discharged from the Day Program, Eric returned to the Bloorview Nursery School and to physio and O.T. through the CDP at Bloorview. Then, in May 2009, Eric suddenly experienced a second major stroke, followed by a third two weeks later. After a month at Sick Kids in Toronto, he found himself as an inpatient at Bloorview again, this time from June to October and in the Day Program until December. He started Junior Kindergarten in the resource program at the Bloorview School Authority. Upon discharge from the Day Program, he began being followed by the BIRT Outpatient program for physio, O.T. and speech therapy, and continues to be seen by this team today.

It is impossible to properly explain how much the people at Bloorview, over our nearly 4-year journey with them,  have impacted our family. Every single person we encounter in that amazing building and at the nursery school, is deeply dedicated to helping kids with disabilities move, as the Bloorview slogan says, "From Disability to Possibility." The wonderful doctors, nurses, therapists, therapy assistants, therapeutic clowns, teachers, volunteers, support staff, researchers and more at Bloorview go above and beyond on a daily basis to improve the lives of the unique children they serve.

Eric's first Bloorview therapist, an Occupational Therapist named Yvonne, made such an immediate and deep connection with this kid who, at age 2 had already begun to distrust adults in hospital-type environments, and helped him make significant developmental gains thanks to that connection, that I remember Jodi and I saying that she would forever go down as Eric's (and our) life-long hero.

We still feel that way about Yvonne, but what we didn't know at the time, is that as we continued to meet Bloorview staffers and volunteers, we would add literally dozens of names to our hero list. I'm not even going to attempt to name them all, but they know who they are. Every person we've dealt with at Bloorview, from the doctor who, hearing that Eric was having seizures one day during his time in the Day Program dropped everything in her busy schedule to sit with him for over an hour, watching him, comforting him (and me), to the Therapeutic Clowns who seemed to be able to read Eric's needs better than anyone else (including me) to the Nursery School teachers who set aside personal time to visit Eric during his hospital stays, to the ladies at the Tim Hortons coffee shop in the lobby who come out from behind the counter to give Eric and Alex a hug when they see them, and so on and so on, are heroes. I think their hiring policy begins with "all applicants, in order to be considered, must be able to perform miracles."

This week I've been thinking a lot about how much Bloorview means to us, since this is our second-last week at Bloorview. I know we will meet more heroes after we move to New Brunswick in a week-and-a-half, and will be closer to other heroes (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), which is extremely exciting, but right now, the prospect of leaving Bloorview behind is often leaving me with a lump in my throat. In case I haven't made it clear, I love that place and the people in it and hate to imagine where we would be without having had them in our lives over the past few years.

So, I was interested to hear that effective today, Bloorview Kids Rehab is no more. Don't worry, all those heroes are still there, but the place changed its name today. After an incredible $20 Million donation from the Holland family, Bloorview Kids Rehab is now the Holland Bloorview Kids Rehabilitation Hospital.

That $20 Million donation is on top of the $6.2 million that the Hollands have already donated to Bloorview. Bill and Suzanne Holland are dedicated to helping Bloorview... I mean Holland Bloorview, help kids with special needs meet their potential. They are parents themselves, but not parents of a Bloorview patient, as you might assume of someone who is so passionate about such a place. Bill Holland says “When my family and I toured Bloorview, I couldn’t decide which I found more compelling- the children who were dealing with disability in so many different ways or the professionals who were so dedicated in their work with them. I’ve seen many healthcare organizations up close and this is one I’m pleased to support because it works.” (quote taken from the Holland Bloorview website)

So this is a family who has more financial means than most of us will ever dream of, who could choose to support any cause, and indeed have chosen to support several not-for-profit organizations. There are a lot of great charities out there, some of which probably have a more direct connection to their family. But they decided to put their weight behind this place that I love so much. When I think about how much their support will mean for kids with special needs in Toronto, across Ontario, and (thanks to the ground-breaking research undertaken at Bloorview) around the world, I realize that we have two new heroes to add to our list. We've never met the Hollands, but we certainly appreciate them all the same. They have given kids like Eric an amazing gift: the gift of Possiblity. And we want to thank them for that.

Did I say "brief-ish"???

If you're still reading after my long love letter to Bloorview, you might as well stick around and read a bit more, because I have a link I want to share with you. I recently had an e-mail discussion with my sister about how one of the most important things that we can offer a kid with any kind of special need is understanding. So, I also wanted to suggest you read an essay written in 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley about the way in which many parents of kids with special needs come to an understanding about the fact that their child has a disability. I think it's pretty amazing (even if it's a little sappy, but isn't that what parenting is all about?) Don't worry, it's much shorter than this blog entry!

Here's a link to the essay, called Welcome to Holland: http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

I think it's pretty apropriate for today, considering the Bloorview name change.

Ok, that's my love letter to Holland Bloorview, and my link for you. I promise my next blog entry will be much sillier, and much shorter.

Llove,

Lloyd

PS - if you want to read more about the Holland Bloorview name change, you can check out these links:

- here's a story from the Globe and Mail
- here a story from the National Post
- here's a piece from Holland Bloorview's just-released 2010 report to donors

Misplaced Generosity

I took this picture in the bathroom of an Esso station (yes, I was that desperate that I visited a bathroom in an Esso)

If this washroom isn't up to your standards, please tell us. And accept a free air freshener as our thanks.

I decided to donate the air freshener back to the cause. I think they need it more than I do.

To me, this sign is like having a sign in a restaurant saying "if you don't like our food, please let us know. and accept an enrollment in a culinary class as our thanks." Or a hospital saying "if our doctors don't fix what ails you, let us know and we'll give you a medical kit to take home with you."

Dear McDonald's

Dear McDonald's,

I appreciate your efforts to save our planet, with your "One meal, one napkin" program:

"May we suggest that you use one napkin per meal?"

Thanks for the suggestion, McDonald's.

If you want us to stick to one napkin per meal, may we suggest that you ensure some kind of consistency in your ketchup application? If I knew that there would only be one squirt of ketchup on each quarter pounder, I could feel confident grabbing only one napkin. But one in three quarter pounders has at least three squirts of ketchup, two of which end up on my chin.

Also, since we're making environmentally friendly suggestions, may we suggest that when we say "no thanks" to the "do you want ketchup?" question, that you don't put 40 ketchup packets in the bag. Imagine how many tomatoes are thrown out around the world every day in the form of 40 ketchup packets per drive through visit, plus the extra ketchup squirts on the quarter pounders. Next time there is a tomato shortage, we know who to blame.

Thanks so much. Llove,

Lloyd

Interesting spelling

This is a picture of a label on a shelf containing various kinds of medical equipment in the emergency room at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children (Sick Kids).

All I could think when I read it was "I've seen it spelled Catherine, Katherine, Kathryn, but never quite like this." I guess it's one of those new, trendy ways of spelling names. If we ever have a third baby, this name might be in the running.

Press Release: Canadian Comedy Stars Line Up in Support of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Canadian Comedy Stars Line Up in Support of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada

April 5, 2010 , Toronto, ON– Some of the funniest people in Canada will be in the spotlight on May 4 at the Melody Bar in the Gladstone Hotel, as they raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada’s TEAM in Training (TNT). Funds raised from the show, titled Lloyd’s Laugh Marathon, will go towards TNT member and stand-up comedian Lloyd Ravn’s goal of raising funds for blood cancer research and patient support while training to run a half-marathon.

The show’s organizer joined TNT in honour of his late father as well as to take the opportunity to set a positive example for his two sons. When his father lost his battle with leukemia 5 years ago, Ravn’s oldest son Eric was only 6 weeks old, and losing his father so soon after becoming a father himself was a major life changing event. He considered joining TNT to raise funds as a way of marking the 5 year anniversary of his father’s death, but found it hard to commit to making the move from his unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle to the hard work of training for a half-marathon. That is, until he thought about how hard Eric works every day.

Over the past 5 years, young Eric has experienced his own series of health issues, including 3 major strokes, and Lloyd has watched and cheered as his son worked exceedingly hard at various rehabilitation therapies. “I always tell Eric ‘You can do it!’ when he is struggling to re-master a skill that his strokes have taken away from him,” said Ravn. “But as he gets older, I started to wonder if he’s thinking ‘That’s easy for you to say, as you sit on the couch.’ So I wanted to show him, and his brother Alex (2), that I am willing to push myself too.” Ravn signed up to be part of TNT for the Ottawa half-marathon, and committed to raising at least $3,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada (LLSC) in the process.

As an amateur comic in Toronto’s comedy scene, Lloyd decided to organize a stand-up show to help reach his fundraising goal, and put out the word to some of his favourite professional comedians. “I’m thrilled with the amazing line-up I’ve been able to assemble for this show and I can’t wait to perform along with these comedy stars,” said Ravn.
Tony Krolo, a Canadian comedy veteran, will host the show which will also include:

· Brian Lazanik - Just for Laughs, Last Comic Standing
· Boyd Banks - Little Mosque on the Prairie, Comics!
· Allyson Smith - Winnipeg Comedy Festival, The Debaters
· Andrew Johnston - Video on Trial, Love Court· Riz (Ali Rizvi Badshah) – Second City’s Next Comedy Legend, The new host of CBC Radio’s Laugh Out Loud

Lloyd’s Laugh Marathon Details:

Date: Tuesday May 4, 2010
Location: Melody Bar in the Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St W, Toronto
Time: Show at 8:00
Tickets: $15.00, available at http://www.anotherl.com/ or by e-mailing lloydravn@hotmail.com

About Team in Training

Team In Training is the world’s largest endurance sport training program. For 21 years, participants of Team In Training have been completing marathons, triathlons, and 100-mile cycling challenges while raising funds for blood cancer research. Team In Training athletes are encouraged and inspired through their endurance challenges by their honoured team-mates; individuals who are currently battling, or have battled a blood cancer and have thereby faced a far more challenging test of human endurance.

For More Information:
· Lloyd Ravn, Event organizer: 647-929-8916, lloydravn@hotmail.com
· Derek Virgo, Team In Training Program Co-ordinator, derek.virgo@lls.org

Of course you do

A picture taken on my Blackberry on August 8, 2009 in Richmond Hill, Ontario.

"We do implants. Ask Inside"

It's a good thing they included the company name (Richmond Hill Dentistry), or I would have no idea what knid of implants this sign is advertising. It's like a retaurant ad with a bunch of guys in Speedo shorts and the slogan saying "We have sausages."

Sounds like every room in my apartment right now

For some reason, I always found this sign, on a door on the BIRT (Brain Injury Rehab Team) unit at Bloorview Kids Rehab in Toronto, to be funny.



It's called the "Soiled Room." It houses bins for disposing of soiled diapers, linens, etc. But I always expected to open the door and just find a generally filthy room. If someone ever cleaned the room, they would have to replace the sign.

It probably isn't as funny as I thought it was when I took the picture. But I am still blogging it, because I never let unfunniness stand in the way of my blog.

A spark of light indeed

I have to get my Blackberry Bold replaced, because the battery leads are loose, causing it to re-boot at random and annoying times, and because the trackball isn't working right, so I often can't scroll up or down, and also because the USB port is faulty, so I can't connect it to my PC.

The faulty USB port is proving to be the biggest pain, because it means that I can't transfer pictures and videos off of the phone to my PC before sending the Berry back. Pictures I can e-mail to myself and save them to the hard drive, but almost all of my videos are too big to send, so they will probably be lost. That sucks, because I haven't cleared off the videos since before Eric went into hospital in May, so I have all of the videos I have shot since then. Some of them are important because they show Eric's onoing recovery. Some of them are important because they show how we as a family got through this time. There are some great videos of Eric's little brother, Alex being a clown.

As I posted recently, I submitted a story to Bloorview's blog, Bloom, about the importance of laughter in difficult times, and as I go through the pictures and videos on my phone, I realize how lucky we are to have Alex to keep us laughing through our struggles. No picture better illustrates this than this one of Alex, taken on "clown nose day" at Sick Kids, 15 days after Eric's second stroke, and one day after his third stroke:

Wake up to the freshness of...

You may remember (I'm talking to the three of you who check my blog on a semi-regular basis) that a few months ago I posted about Jodi's plans to remove as many unnecessary chemicals as possibile from our lives. We use a lot of all-natural products now, which is a great idea, for us and for Mother Earth.

However, the toothpast options are pretty sad for us natural product users. I complained about Ginger-flavoured toothpaste in the aforementioned blog entry, so Jodi responded by changing flavours.

Now, I can brush my teeth in the morning with the fresh taste of...

... Fennel!

Sexy, huh? Kissing me is like making out with a bag of licorice candies!

Computer Gas

This year, my son Eric received a Dynavox V speech generating device. It is awesome. Anything he wants to say can be programmed into this thing. We can program each button to speak a full sentence, a phrase or just a word. Eventually, he will be able to build words and phrases together to speak full sentences. For now, he uses buttons that say full sentences ("I played on the beach in Cuba.") and occasionally builds a couple of words into a short sentence ("I love" plus "Mommy.")



The device came pre-programmed with words and phrases for a number of situations, such as mealtime, bedtime, playtime, etc. It was very well-thought-out. But there were a few buttons that surprised me. For instance:

That's right. There is a "fart" button. And when you press it, it doesn't say "fart". It makes a fart sound. Like someone held a microphone to their butt and let one go. Very thoughtful.

I don't get it. THis is supposed to be a speech generating device, not a bodily-functions noise generating device. Under what circumstances would Eric need the computer to make that noise? Will pressing that button relieve the gas pains in his stomach? No. Farting will.

I haven't even come close to exploring the whole computer, and the fart button makes me wonder what I will find next. Is there a button that makes the sound of a turd landing in the toilet? Or one for the sound you make when you throw up in your mouth a little bit?

(Secretly, I hope so, but I just want to find them before Eric does.)

Literal Branding

Recently, Jodi saw a couple of documentaries on CBC's Doc Zone that changed our lives.

One was about plastic and all of the bad things that it might or might not be doing to our bodies. So now we have much less plastic around the house. Not even the Britta water filter was spared.

The other was about synthetic chemicals in general, and how little testing has been done on their effects on us. The result is that we now have a lot more "all-natural" stuff around the house. Case in point: "Natural Tea Tree Oil Toothpaste".



My first thought was, "it says on the back that the available flavours include mint. Why would you pick ginger? Who wants to start the day with a mouthfull of ginger?"

Then I tried it. While brushing I noticed the brand name.


Desert Essence. What an appropriate brand name for a product that tastes like sand and dead rattlesnakes.

More clumsy animals

Get your nose out of my butt!


Another tree collision



This poor deer has his antlers stuck between the trees.




Clumsiest ducks ever.

Jodi's right. I need help.

A Tribute To Clumsy Animals

At Bloorview Kids Rehab Centre, in Toronto, where my son Eric recevies treatment, they have a lovely carved woodland scene near the elevators on the basement level, on your way to the pools.
At first glance, it seems to be just a lovely woodland scene. Then, you realize it is more than that.

It turns out to be a tribute to clumsy animals. For instance:

Look at this scene, with a mommy deer and her baby fawn. So nice. Until...

You realize that THE MOTHER DEER HAS PUT HER HOOF THROUGH THE BABY'S BACK!

And what about these happy duckies?


Just happy duckies? Look again.

This one flew right into a tree! Appropriate, I suppose, in a hospital whose mission includes helping kids with brain injuries.

More to follow...

The Word of the Lloyd

If it's true that everything happens because of God's will, then I imagine God invented beer, cigarettes and fast food to ensure that everyone has an equal chance with the chicks. I mean, I'm already brilliant and incredibly funny. Imagine if I was in shape! The other guys wouldn't stand a chance.

Think of the children!

I had a membership at the local YMCA for a while, so I could get some much-needed exercise. Remember? I gave up the membership when I had bronchitis for a few weeks, and wasn't going. I haven't renewed it yet.

Anyhow, when I was going there, they had a big sign in the lobby that told people what their donations to the Scarborough YMCA would do in the community. According to the sign, donating to the YMCA helps local children get much-needed stills. I was outraged! Kids shouldn't be brewing moonshine in their backyard! Not in the city, anyhow. I can't believe that a so-called "community organization" supports youth alcoholism! I'll never go back.

Jodi tried to convince me that it was just a typo and that I should re-join and start exercising again, but no sir. I refuse to support such an organization by joining their gym, so I guess I'll just have to never work out again. Pass the moonshine, I'm staying in tonight.

Faith Hill Can Feel Me Breathe...

...from all the way in Nashville or wherever she lives.

Because I have asthma, and when I have a heavy-breathing moment, it's noticeable for miles and miles. At least it seems to me like it must be.

I never used to have asthma, but I do now. I had bronchitis earlier this year, for like seven weeks. I was coughing up bits of stuff that I probably needed. This was right around the time that I was to emcee the reception thingy after my sister-in-law's wedding, so I was worried I wouldn't get through it. But I consumed a week's worth of cough syrup that afternoon, so I was fine (or at least I was until I got lost in Charlottetown at three in the morning). That was also the same strategy I used to get through a twenty minute set at Yuk Yuk's in Moncton earlier that week.

So, after seven weeks of suffering, complaining and wondering "what was that that just flew across the room when I coughed?", you'd think I'd get over it and everything would go back to normal, eh? Of course not. I still couldn't breathe right, so my doctor had a bunch of tests done where I breathed into things, and sucked on things (!!!) and he tells me that I have asthma.

So now I have two puffer thingies. One that I suck on twice a day every day, and one that I use for relief when I need it.

The day that I went to pick up the second one, the pharmacist warned me that it might give me a bit of a buzz. Apparently it does in some people, but not in everybody. Just a little light-headedness and the like. No big deal, but it sounded good to me.

So I get home, take a pull off of it, and... no light head. Not even a bit of dizzyness. No buzz of any kind.

I can't even do asthma right.

An Open Letter

To the fat, dirty dude with messed up teeth and a starving girlfriend (cousin?) who I saw at the Emergency department at Scarborough General Hospital a couple of weeks ago:

As you stood there, under the big sign that said "TRIAGE", loudly calling the nurse an "ignorant bitch" because she checked in the woman who looked to be near death before she checked in your girlfriend with a tummy ache, I wanted to suggest that you make a trip to the library to look up triage in the dictionary (because I just assumed that you don't have a dictionary at home). Then, I looked at you again and decided that the odds of you knowing where to find the local library were almost as slim as the odds of you knowing how to read.

Also, please do us all a big favour next time, and try to find a shirt that fits. Or if you only have ill-fitting shirts, maybe if you are going out into public, you could wear the one without mysterious stains all over the front of it.

Thankssomuch!

Llove,

Lloyd

It's Fun To Obsess At The YMCA

So, as you know, if you've been following along, I'm trying to lose some weight. (If you haven't been following along, you can catch up here). So far this year, 25 lbs gone.

Part of the strategy has been to join the local YMCA and go exercise as often as possible. Whenever I go up there, I try to run about 5 km on the track there. At first, I thought that running inside was lame, but I actually kind of like it.

Anyhow, I've noticed that there are a lot of people running or walking the track there who have certain little obsessive things that they have to do as they go around and around. For instance, some people who walk the track, have a need, at every curve, to leave the inside "walking only" lane, and walk in the outside "running only" lane. This makes them feel better, so whatever. Some people feel a need to zig-zag back and forth every second lap. They all have their own little thing that they need to do.

I have a little thing that I need to do too while I'm there. I NEED TO RUN AROUND THE TRACK! GET OUT OF MY WAY AND STOP WITH THE LANE CHANGING AND ZIG ZAGGING! FREAKS.

I like kids, but...

The other day, we stopped into Harvey's for a burger. And I have been wondering why my weight loss has been stuck at 25 lbs for the past few weeks.

So, I was eating my onion rings and noticed the image on the side of the onion rings container. It says "KIDS" in big letters across the container, with crayola crayons all around it. It's a promotion for their kids menu. Check out this fuzzy picture of the container:



Then, I looked closely, and saw a logo in the corner saying "cooked in trans fat free oil." So, I guess my first impression was wrong. It turns out that this container wasn't promoting the kids menu, but the fact that Harvey's cooks kids in trans fat free oil. Apparently that is a beautiful thing.

Good for them. But is that even legal? And, do cannibals really care about trans fats? Besides, everyone knows that kids are better roasted than deep fried.