What a relief

Children should never drive fast.

Saint John, NB - A cultural Mecca

Specials at what is widely considered Saint John's best Asian restaurant earlier this week.

The smallest parking ticket machine ever

At the Saint John Airport, NB.
I was tempted to leave a pile of change on the ground.

Mind your Ps and Ds

Is it just me, or does the D on this logo look a little too much like a P?

I pick the lady in the Nun's Habit

Taken at the NB Antique Auto Association giant flea market in Sussex, NB Canada, 2010

Advertising so bold, I will gag

Is it just me, or is the current billboard campaign for Bullseye Barbecue Sauce the least appetizing advertising for a food product ever?

SAUCE SO BOLD PORK WILL PULL ITSELF

Now, I love me a pulled pork sandwich. mmmm. But the idea of pork "pulling itself" puts two, equally revolting images in my head.

First, I imagine a sad little piggy, cutting off its own shoulder, slow-roasting it, basted in a little Bullseye and then pulling it apart (one-handed of course) into tender pieces for my sandwich. I think it would be hard to eat while Porky is crying in the corner.

Secondly, and even more disturbingly, I imagine a pig tasting the sauce and finding it so amazing that he can't resist, ummm, "pulling" himself. By that, I mean pulling one specific part of himself. You know. Down in his bathing-suit area. If pigs wore bathing suits. And if pigs had opposable thumbs.

I love barbecue sauce, however I have never found the flavour to be erotic, but apparently it is like oysters to a pig.

I just hope that the next campaign isn't Bullseye's all-new Hollandaise sauce.

Misplaced Generosity

I took this picture in the bathroom of an Esso station (yes, I was that desperate that I visited a bathroom in an Esso)

If this washroom isn't up to your standards, please tell us. And accept a free air freshener as our thanks.

I decided to donate the air freshener back to the cause. I think they need it more than I do.

To me, this sign is like having a sign in a restaurant saying "if you don't like our food, please let us know. and accept an enrollment in a culinary class as our thanks." Or a hospital saying "if our doctors don't fix what ails you, let us know and we'll give you a medical kit to take home with you."

I didn't know he worked in a grocery store

I saw this sign on a display of apples at my local grocery store.

Apples McIntosh FCY

The FCY part threw me off. I know that it means "Fancy" which is a grade of apples. But when I read it, I thought it was saying "Fucky" which is what angry stand-up comedian Darren Frost often calls audience members. For a split second, I thought Darren had been hired to write these things. Which would be awesome. I also imagine he'd put up signs like:

"They're carrots, dumbfuck."

"These are condoms, please use them so we don't get little fuckies like you."

"It's chocolate cake. You might as well eat the whole thing, lard ass."

"This is non-alcoholic beer. Pussy."

Interesting spelling

This is a picture of a label on a shelf containing various kinds of medical equipment in the emergency room at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children (Sick Kids).

All I could think when I read it was "I've seen it spelled Catherine, Katherine, Kathryn, but never quite like this." I guess it's one of those new, trendy ways of spelling names. If we ever have a third baby, this name might be in the running.

Very progressive

Here's a picture I took way back in December (2009), through a dirty car windshield, in Moncton, New Brunswick.

The street name on the bottom of the sign is Rue Paul St. Wow. A town in New Brunswick naming a street after a drag queen! People might assume that NB is pretty conservative, but I think that's a sign that NB is a very welcoming place. Between being the only "officially" bilingual province in Canada and this street name, NB is probably the most liberal place in the country.

Closure

I bank with President's Choice Financial, a retail bank operated by CIBC. Every time I use the bank machine, I get nervous because I'm afraid they are trying to get rid of me. Trying to suggest that I take my business elsewhere. If you bank with PC, do you feel the same way, whenever you see this at the end of your transaction?

"Your transaction is complete. Would you like to continue banking?"

I'm always worried that if I select "No" to indicate that I am finished banking for now, they will take it to mean "No, I am finished banking forever. Go ahead and close my account." Is that being overly paranoid?

A picture says 1000 words

Just how bad are things in the automobile industry? This picture I took on my Blackbery back in August (2009) gives a pretty good idea:

"CLEAROUT: New 2007 Dodge Dakota Ext Cab"

If, in August 2009, with the 2010 models coming out any day now, you are finally trying to clear out your 2007 models, maybe you have a bit of an inventory planning problem.

Imagine going on Dragon's Den, or Shark Tank and saying "I am looking for your investment in my company so I can manufacture enough inventory to sit around for at least three or four years." After telling you that you are a "crazy chicken" and making you look like an idiot for a while, the Dragons or Sharks would, one after another, say something like "this just isn't a good business model, so I'm out."

Of course having a bad business model in the auto industry is a pretty minor detail. If you can't sell your shitty, oversized, gas guzzling trucks, just about every major government in the world will simply give you the money that you couldn't figure out how to actually earn.

I don't have cars that nobody wants to buy, but I do have an inventory of blog posts that nobody wants to read. Maybe I could qualify for a bailout?

Of course you do

A picture taken on my Blackberry on August 8, 2009 in Richmond Hill, Ontario.

"We do implants. Ask Inside"

It's a good thing they included the company name (Richmond Hill Dentistry), or I would have no idea what knid of implants this sign is advertising. It's like a retaurant ad with a bunch of guys in Speedo shorts and the slogan saying "We have sausages."

In this economy, diets are changing

A picture taken on my Blackberry at the Real Canadian Superstore at Don Mills and Eglinton in Toronto:

"Cooking and your Community: Kid Cooking Classes"

I wonder when the Superstore marketing team identified "Fairy Tale Witches" as their target market?

Unreasonable terms

Taken on my Blackberry at Sobey's grocery store in Sussex, New Brunswick:



Ready when you are Frozen Food.

I hope never to be Frozen Food, so I guess Sobey's will never be ready. It just seems unfair.

Bad Proofreading

Taken on my Blackberry on July 21, 2009 in Orangeville, Ontario:



My first thought was "there is one 'n' too many in her first name. But what a great pornstar name to be born with."

This whole court's out of order!

Taken on my Blackberry at the All Seasons Restaurant in Sussex, New Brunswick on July 24, 2009.
A bad day to have had a couple of beers with my meal.

Sounds like every room in my apartment right now

For some reason, I always found this sign, on a door on the BIRT (Brain Injury Rehab Team) unit at Bloorview Kids Rehab in Toronto, to be funny.



It's called the "Soiled Room." It houses bins for disposing of soiled diapers, linens, etc. But I always expected to open the door and just find a generally filthy room. If someone ever cleaned the room, they would have to replace the sign.

It probably isn't as funny as I thought it was when I took the picture. But I am still blogging it, because I never let unfunniness stand in the way of my blog.

With a compass garnish

Here's a picture I recently took on my Blackberry at the Toronto Zoo:

Talk about a fibre-rich diet.

A common marketing mistake

I love seeing an advertising campaign that was meant to convey a particular message, but which could be taken to mean something else entirely. Especially when the unintended meaning is the exact opposite of the message that the advertiser would want to be express.
For instance, check out this billboard for the Toronto Star newspaper:

It's a bit blurry, so in case you can't see it, the slogan is "Until common sense is actually common."
I assume that they mean "as long as things happen because of people (such as those in government) failing to use common sense, we will report those things." But my first thought was that it might mean "until the general population has enough common sense to make up their own minds about things rather than reading our slanted, biased views, we shall continue to spread our propaganda."
I think mine is probably more accurate, but still not what they meant.