Lloyd's Advertising Agency

I would like to get into advertising copy-writing, but I don't have the time to start at the bottom. I'm 35 and have two kids to feed. I need to make money! So, I decided to just start my own advertising agency and write my own ads. Of course, I don't have to worry about being held back by limitations of my clients, because I don't have any clients. So I can just make up my own products and write ads for them.

So, without any further ado (what the hell does that mean, anyhow?), here is my first ad:

Announcer: “Some car companies claim to offer versatility. Now, one car company really does. Introducing the car called the most versatile car ever by ‘Car and Collectable’ magazine.”

(dramatic music)

Announcer: “The Kia Chia.”

Singers: “K-k-k-k-kia. Ch-ch-ch-chia”

Announcer: “Simply plant the seeds on the specially-designed chassis, and watch them grow! Then, cut the grass into the shape of your dream car.”

Woman: “With my brood of soccer stars, I needed more space, but couldn’t afford a large vehicle. I cut my Kia Chia into the shape of a minivan! Now the whole family can travel together!”

Young man: “I never had any luck with the ladies, until I cut my Kia Chia into a hot sportscar. Now I’m getting more dates than I can handle!”

Middle-aged man: “I was the coolest guy in town with my Kia Chia motorcycle. Then, I got married and the bike didn’t fit my lifestyle anymore. I let it grow out a bit, and cut it into a practical sedan. Now my wife is happy, thanks to my Kia Chia.”

Announcer: “Kia Chia. How will you cut it?”

Announcer, speaking extra-fast: "Warranty does not cover grass fires or goat attacks."