Happy Belated Birthday, Baby Jesus

I'm the only one in my family who isn't what you would call "religious" (whatever that means). I think my family is now worried for my soul, after a couple of comments I made over the past couple of days.

My mother has every one for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, so that we can all go to our in-laws for dinner on Christmas day. I bring the beer (Alpine or Moosehead Premium Dry) and wine (whatever doesn't cost too much and looks ok). This year, my brother arrived as I was putting the beer into the fridge. He said "are you sharing your beer?" and I said "It's not my beer."

"Then whose beer is it?"

Without thinking about the fact that my ultra-Christian mother was standing there, I said "it's everyone's beer. It's Christmas beer. It's the Baby Jesus' beer. Baby Jesus wants you to have some of his beer. Baby Jesus wants you to get drunk in honour of his birth."

The room went quiet while everyone said a silent prayer for my Hell-bound soul.

If the Baby Jesus doesn't like the way I talk, then fuck the Baby Jesus.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Llove,

Lloyd