Diagnosis Confirmed

I've been wondering why I'm always so tired lately. I've suspected that it's because my 4 year old, Alex, crawls into bed with us in the middle of the night every night.
I saw Jerry Seinfeld on Friday night in Saint John and he talked about the same thing. He said that having a kid in bed with you is "like sleeping next to a laundry bag with a live Collie in it." Great description. That's got to be why I'm so tired.
This morning I confirmed the theory when I woke up and, instead of my head, this is what was on my pillow.

Over Tagging

Dear Joe Fresh clothing,
Does a baby's shirt really need a care instructions tag this long?
Llove,
Lloyd

Meteorology and math

Dear The Weather Network,
If the probability of precipitation is 0%, how is it that we are going to get 1-3 cm of snow?
Llove,
Lloyd

Most Hypocritical Statement of 2011 Award!

I have announced the winner of the prestigious First Annual Most Hypocritical Statement of 2011 Award. Surprisingly it is not a politician. It is Clinton Kelly, the co-host of TLC's "What Not To Wear". This show is dedicated solely to making people feel badly about themselves if they do not spend thousands of dollars to entirely replace their wardrobe on an annual (at least) basis. So, check out what Clinton had to say about choosing clothes on an episode last night:

Note: No, I was not watching this show. My wife was, and I overheard this statement and made her rewind it so I could record it. It is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Press Release: Sussex Native and Award-Winning Comedian Tim Steeves in a Hometown Show‏

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Sussex Native and Award-Winning Comedian Tim Steeves in a Hometown Show on December 22

December 2, 2011, Sussex, NB – Multiple award-winning comedian and comedy writer Tim Steeves will be appearing in a rare hometown performance in Sussex on December 22 at the newly renovated Sussex Regional High School Community Theatre. 

Steeves, who was born and raised in Sussex and has been performing stand-up comedy based out of Toronto for several years, has toured Canada and the world as a headliner and has worked with some of the most well-known comics on the planet, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno and Louis CK. He recently appeared on the grand opening gala for the Sussex Regional High School Community Theatre and announced his December 22 show that evening to the delight of all in the audience.

An Evening With Tim Steeves, December 22, 2011, Sussex, NB

Tim is well-known to comedy fans, having appeared on nearly every Canadian comedy show on television, including four gala shows at the world-renowned Just for Laughs festival in Montreal as well as his own comedy specials airing on CBC, CTV and The Comedy Network. He is a regular on CBC's Halifax Comedy Festival and Winnipeg Comedy Festival broadcasts and has been featured on six episodes of the television broadcast of the Canadian Comedy Awards. 

In addition to being one of the top performers in Canadian comedy, Tim is a highly regarded comedy writer, having written for some of Canada's most popular television comedy programs. He spent four years writing for CBC's This Hour Has 22 Minutes, and wrote for Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special, the highest rated comedy show in the history of Canadian broadcasting. Since 2006, Steeves has been writing for the Rick Mercer Report, the highest rated comedy program on the air today in Canada. His writing skills have earned him multiple Canadian Comedy Awards, Gemini Awards, and the prestigious Rose d'Or for international entertainment programming. He was also nominated for an international Emmy Award.

Opening for Steeves in Sussex will be local comedian Lloyd Ravn, recent finalist in Sirius XM's Canada's Next Top Comic contest.

Event details:

Tickets: $20, available at Sobeys in Sussex (Gateway Mall - 138 Main Street)

Location: Sussex Regional High School, 55 Leonard Drive, Sussex

Show time: 8 PM

Running Time: approximately 90 minutes.

For more information, photos, or to arrange interviews: 

Lloyd Ravn: 506-292-4956 or lloydravn@hotmail.com 

Try again

Google Earth sucks. That's my dining room. I'm in the living room, guys! Talk about poor accuracy!

Do not quote me on that

Strange uses of quotation marks always make me laugh. In this pic, I can't help but question how seriously the hospital takes patient rights and responsibilities.