On Behalf Of Fathers Everywhere

Dear Old People,
When I am with my kids and my wife isn't there, I am not "babysitting" I am parenting.
When you see me with the kids and say "babysitting today?" in a tone that says "poor dear, having to do woman's work" it makes me want to hide your scotch mints.
If you are an old woman, I resist the urge to say "that's right, toots" and smack you on your bony ass while winking at you.
Fathers don't babysit their own children. The neighbour's kid does.
Llove,
Lloyd
PS - you smell like moth balls.