As anyone who has ever been with me at mealtime knows, I will eat pretty much anything. I love good food, but I also love really horrible food. I love eating at the best fine-dining restaurants, and I love eating at McDonald's. But there are a few things I won't eat. At the very top of my "I'll never eat that crap again" list is...
Arby's Cheese Sauce.
How can you people eat that garbage? I think that the only thing worse than eating Arby's Cheese Sauce would be working in the Arby's Cheese Sauce factory. Imagine, on Take Your Kid to Work Day, how humiliating it would be.
Dad: "OK, son, this is the part where Daddy puts the special, secret ingredient into the Arby's Cheese Sauce. I'm going to have to get you to close your eyes while I do this."
Kid: **closes his eyes, but peeks just in time to see Dad take his finger out of his ear and swish it around in the big vat of sauce**
Now, before Arby's lawyers send me a threatening letter, let me be clear that this is a joke. I'm not really insinuating that Arby's Cheese Sauce contains ear wax. Obviously, Arby's is a huge corporation and they employ a very highly-trained team of food development experts.
Those experts have found a way to make cheese sauce taste like ear wax is all I'm saying.