Saturday, March 17, 2007

Unfortunate business names

I love when a business is named something that might be awesome in another language, but in English it ends up being a bit unfortunate. (see my previous blog entry on the world's best dry cleaner business name here).

Some others that I have noticed include:

- Reliable Fish & Chips, on Queen St E in Toronto. To me, "reliable" is a term used in employment reference letters when you can't think of anything good to say about the person's work. "Peter was extremely reliable. He showed up every day on time, and we could always count on him to be there when we needed him." What the letter doesn't say is that Peter might as well have stayed home, because he sucked at what we needed him to do.

How's the fish at that place?

Well, it's reliable. It's always there, on the plate, when you order it. Never fails. Always tastes like shit, but it's always there.
- Lucky Driving School, in Scarborough. I think I would prefer the skillful driving school, thanks.

- Nice Haircut, in the Beaches area of Toronto. It always makes me imagine an Abbott and Costello type conversation.
Hey, nice haircut. Where'd you get it?

Nice Haircut.

Yeah, I already said I like it. Where'd you get it?

Nice Haircut!

OK, I was just being polite. It actually looks pretty dumb on you. Where did you get it? Tell me so I can know never to go there.

Nice Haircut!

Are you retarded?
- Ho's Team , a salon in downtown Toronto. The most unfortunate part of this is that it is near one of the most notorious hooker areas in town.

But my current favourite is...

- Beaver Fishery, a wholesale fishmonger in Toronto. "This tuna kind of tastes like..."


LadyLauretta said...

More....! I want to see more unfortunate business names these are great. :)

trojandoll said...

There's a dentist on Adams Street in Los Angeles. They named it "Adams Family Dentistry". No thanks, I don't want Uncle Fester working on my teeth.